I’m back! With baby! And drugs! It’s always a little funny to go back and re-read the posts I write in the hospital or even at home just after having a baby. Because of tiredness, hormones, and often the drugs I am on for recovery, the thoughts that seem so clear at the time are later…well. Not so much. (Like this post I fell asleep in the middle of writing after having Lincoln.) The last two days have been a blur of baby and nurses and beeping machines and more baby. Here are a few photos and a brief bit about how things are going here in the hospital.
I didn’t get a lot of info about the surgery Thursday, only that I was in early labor and would have a baby around dinner time unless things progressed faster. (Because I’m a repeat c-section and had one a year ago, they really didn’t want me laboring much because it can increase risks for rupture.) I sat around watching a Jaws marathon until they wheeled me up to labor and delivery at 4:00. They told me the surgery was scheduled for 5pm and it was hit or miss whether Rob and my mom would make it. They got there at 4:55 and the doctor was a little late, so thankfully, it was in time. Shortly after they arrived, I got wheeled into the operating room for my spinal block.
I could tell things weren’t going well with the spinal because it seemed to take forever. It hurt and felt uncomfortable, like they were crunching my bones. Every now and then I’d get some kind of odd burning sensation around my spine. Knowing the risks of spinals (permanent nerve damage, chronic headaches), I began getting really nervous and was glad that the resident who had been watching over me changed positions with a nurse who held me by the shoulders and prayed softly. By the end of 25 minutes, I was in tears from pain and nervousness and the anesthesiologist said that in his 14 years he had never NOT been able to get a spinal in. But he couldn’t. This meant I would go under general anesthesia for the surgery.
Rob came in as they were getting me prepped for this, and I was still fighting back tears and feeling fearful. My very first c-section was a sort of emergency and I went under general, only to wake a few hours later in a room alone without knowing if I had a baby or not and without having any pain medication. It was BAD. That’s what I was thinking of as they were putting me under, and the higher risks for baby going under general. It was not pleasant.
But then….BABY.
I honestly do not remember seeing her for the first time or learning that she was a SHE. (Something I suspected but didn’t really trust the whole pregnancy.) I have very little memory of the first few hours. I look at these photos and think…? No memory of them. Nope.
We took almost a full day to name her Quinlyn. We debated between Ripley (my fave girl name) and Quinn (Rob’s fave girl name) and Sullivan (a name we BOTH liked), and somehow thought of Quinlyn. I liked that it took the abruptness out of Quin, though I think I will call her that, or Q. I love names that have nicknames. We are still debating on a middle name.
So far she is very easy: sleeping lots, crying little, and nursing well. When she is awake, it’s brief, and she looks around like everyone is crazy. Furrowed brow, suspicious eyes. Don’t tell her this, but she looks a little like a grumpy old man. I love her.
My recovery has been better than expected. I was on a steady stream of morphine for a while that made me very comfortable and also totally sleepy and loopy. I kept talking and talking and talking and repeating myself the first night or two. I’m now on just pills and feeling ache-y, but surprisingly okay. Being in the hospital has had its moments…I think I’ll write a whole post about hospitals later.
For now, I have a baby who’s hungry. Thanks for all the well-wishes on all forms social media. I love feeling like a I have an online support system—some of which transfers into real life! You guys rock. I love how many of you care that we had a baby. Quin is fabulous.