The fifth time around, there was no romance. I ran into the bathroom with the stick with the big plus sign on it. Rob was in the shower with all four kids and I yanked aside the curtain and waved the stick at him, mouthing, “I’m PREGNANT.”
“PREGNANT?!” he mouthed back. And then we grinned at each other while our kids continued to splash in the water around his ankles.
This was the first time I really had a moment of sheer terror seeing a positive pregnancy test.
The first time I didn’t sit looking at the thing, waiting for it to turn…or not. I actually forgot about it until about an hour later, when I happened to walk by the counter and see the plus sign.
FIVE CHILDREN?!?!! Welp, we’re doing this.
My thought process was something like that before I went running to the bathroom to tell Rob.
It wasn’t always this unromantic. The first time I found out I was pregnant (which was literally while Rob was in the bathroom with me, somehow oblivious to the fact I was taking a pregnancy test), I stored up the good news all day. I was like a shaken champagne bottle, ready to burst.
I bought a few baby things for the nursery. Stupid things like a lamp that I ended up donating to Goodwill. I waited until that night when Rob and I were in bed and I told him about my day and how I’d gone shopping. “I bought some things for the baby’s room,” I said.
“The BABY’S room.”
It took like five tries. In Rob’s defense, he says we had been talking about which room of the house would be the baby’s room if we got pregnant. (We had been trying for nine months at this point and had started to get concerned. More on that HERE.) So what seemed to me very clear language seemed to him like something we talked about normally.
He did (finally) get it.
The second time I had to tell him over the phone because he was out of town for eight days and I couldn’t wait. I think I just blurted it out.
The third time I told him via text message. I had just finished my championship derby game and took the test in the dressing room bathroom. I had suspected I was pregnant (read about why I kept skating HERE), so I texted him in the stands before running up to find him. Meanwhile my best derby friend ran into our team dressing room with the stick, letting everyone know whether I was ready to tell them or not.
I don’t remember the fourth time. I think because we had a four or five month old, things were still in that new-baby-blur. I remember that my sister-in-law gave me a test to take when I had an a-ha moment in my mom-in-law’s kitchen, wondering why I had felt nauseated for a few weeks.
Over the years and pregnancies, a lot of things get more chill: telling people we’re pregnant (though I loved the video we made for this fifth—and yes, LAST—pregnancy!), baby showers, baby prep, buying a bunch of things we don’t need…like lamps for the nursery.
But one thing that doesn’t change is the excitement. The wonder at realizing there is a little person, right now the size of an avocado, growing and moving around inside of my body. It is an amazing thing.
When people ask (because they DO), I say that adding one more is just more noise. I mean, what’s one more when you have four? And it is kind of true. I feel like after three, it has been less difficult. There is a rhythm. The kids play together, distract each other. (And also drive each other crazy.)
It’s also harder to get the one-on-one time that I crave with each kid. It’s also harder sometimes for me to manage the crazy times, since there are four voices, not one. Or two. Or even three. There are rare times when all four kids are crying our shouting or having a meltdown at the same exact time. I have to sort of zone out and go into autopilot mode. You know the way you drive your car sometimes when you’re heading somewhere you drive every day? Like that.
It is going to be wild around here. But it already is.
It is going to be tough. But it already is.
What we can’t quite grasp yet are the particulars. Each child is like an ingredient in the dish that makes up our family. You don’t know what each one will bring, what flavor profile will be added and how they will blend together. You just find that your family becomes a whole blend of all the things your children add. We can’t know how that will look or feel yet, but I know once we have that new little one, we also will struggle to remember what it was like BEFORE he or she came.
Not everyone was excited. Some people definitely think we are crazy. Five kids isn’t for everyone. Good thing it’s OUR family. Not theirs.
I’m so excited! Even if I’m also terrified. And even if my way of announcing this pregnancy was in no way romantic.
Have you had fun experiences of sharing pregnancy news? Or struggled with explaining your choices of how many kids you have/don’t have? Share in the comments!