When You’re Tired of Hearing Your Own Voice

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When You’re Tired of Hearing Your Own Voice

There will come a time when you grow tired of hearing your own voice. As you shush your children repeatedly, not even because someone is sleeping but simply because it is SO LOUD. As you say “no” so many more times than you thought were possible in a day. As you shout–no words, just shouting–in the kitchen because there are too many voices all asking you for too many things all at the same time.

You will sound like an Adult.
You will sound like someone you didn’t want to grow up and become.
You will sound tired.
Impatient.

Soul-weary.

I guess I can stop talking in the second person. YOU might get tired of the sound of your voice, but I know I’m tired of the sound of MINE. And I feel a little like a broken record because haven’t I written about this already to you? Yes. Yes, I have. Hopefully you’re not getting tired of my voice.

Today on the way home, I had on Christian radio and heard part of a song by a band called Casting Crowns. I’ll be honest. I got a little ticked. Here are the words:

We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives
It’s time for us to more than just survive
We were made to thrive

While in some ways I agree with the sentiment, I got really riled up by a few things. The first is the labeling of “ordinary” lives. While I definitely have big dreams, my life IS (and will mostly likely continue to be) ordinary. I’m a housewife. Things are utterly normal. It’s never boring, but it is the same thing that so many others of you do every day. Maybe the intent of the song is to encourage us to live that ordinary life in an extraordinary way, and I can get on board with that. But overall, my life IS ordinary. Don’t knock it.

I’m already ticked about the idea of ordinary and then I get to “it’s time for us to more than just survive.” Don’t get me wrong: I long for the days and LOVE the days when I feel like I’m thriving, not just surviving. I love it when I ENJOY my day. Mostly these days, I get to enjoy pieces of my day, but am overall thankful to get to bedtime and a little quiet.

The reality of this season of my life (and maybe yours too) is about getting through the day. My day ends with spit up in my shoe (and in my bra). When I am wearing a brace on my wrist because apparently there is tendonitis common to moms after picking up their babies. Where the moment I sit down to have dinner, no less than two children begin to cry.

I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. Despite all this, I would not change anything about my life. I wouldn’t. (Scratch that: I would have the money for a daily housekeeper.) I am simply in a season where more than surviving is kind of a bonus. I do want to thrive. I DO want more.

But hearing that song made me feel two negative things: pressure and guilt. Neither of which is going to help me thrive. I think there is already enough pressure on moms to be perfect and a whole lot of guilt we manufacture ourselves without adding to it.

So where is the balance? Can I (can WE) live in a season of survival but also thrive? If so, HOW? Is there a way to even think about this that doesn’t make us feel like failures if we are simply getting through the day?